Thank you so much for putting your entire book online. I've read the whole thing. I left the Mormon church 8 years ago (and had my name removed without the tag "excommunicated"). In times of stress, I seem to go back to it for some reason. I don't understand it. Each time I do, within about three months I begin to see the soul-destroying beliefs. Whenever I've left the Mormon church, I've not been able to find a Christian church family. I think I do, then that church begins to be like the Mormon church (controlling and not wanting you to think on your own). I've been going to a non-denom church here in Alaska for nearly a year now--with my never-been-Mormon husband. I went back to the Mormon church from Nov 05 to two weeks ago (Feb 2006). My husband says he thinks it is the holidays. We're so far from family, my whole family is very Mormon, and that helps me feel close to them. I don't know why, I just wish I would stop being like a dog going back to its vomit!

Is this common? Do other people do this? I've spent Hundreds of hours studying Mormon church history and how it is a total fraud. But I keep going back! Every time I go back, I see that Jesus Christ is nowhere to be found in that church. I've made myself a folder with articles I've printed from "ex-Mormon" sites and have told myself that I have to read every article before I even ever consider going back. Do you know why I do this cycle to "trying it out" again? I'm 39, my parents joined when I was 7. We were very active. I married in the temple, when my husband left the church, I was told to leave him or I wouldn't go to heaven (after 11 years of marriage). I remarried a "good" returned missionary who physically, mentally and sexually abused me. I finally got the strength to leave him after 10 years. I remarried for a third time, my choice this time, not because he was Mormon. He is a strong man and sees the Mormon church for the cult it is. He is a brand new Christian. Last month our house burned down and this has made us even stronger.

in our walk with Christ. My kids are 21 and 19, they live in Oregon, neither of them are Mormon anymore either. It is almost like I'm an alcoholic, every time I get stressed, I go "back to the bottle"--the Mormon church. The pattern has been that it is always in the fall--the dark season here in Alaska. Maybe that is the link. Any ideas? Is it common for people who leave to keep going back? If you have time to answer this, thank you.



Yes, it is very common. That is why it is considered a cult in the psychological sense. The Mormon Church conditions people to be dependent upon Mormonism, not upon God. However, it sounds like you are going to make it this time.

Have you ever written to Sharon Taylor:

I know she'd love to hear from you.

I am sending you a packet of information that may help you and putting you on my mailing list. If there is anything on my site that you think would be helpful, I'd be glad to send it to you at no charge.