Dear Jim,

No, being a Christian I have always believed that I would not have sex before I was married. So there was no sex. We were very close on every level except that. My family loves him so much, and I have always felt welcome with his family. I guess the hardest part is hearing him talk now. It just doesn't sound like him, he used to be so smart and kind. My whole family is stunned about this, they also cannot believe how he has changed in a matter of days. Now he just sounds like a brainwashed wanna be missionary. All he says is how he has prayed about all of this for so long and God is telling him what to do.

My first instinct is that he has been pressured by his family and church to get rid of the non-mormon girlfriend, but he consistently denies this....its God leading him this way. How can I argue with that? I don't want to lose my faith in God, but like I mentioned in my earlier e-mail, how could God lead anyone down this path? How could he not hear our prayers? Thank you so much for your time.

Dani

  Dani,

There is a story about a woman who was walking up a mountain when she encountered a rattle snake alongside the road. The snake said, "Please take me up the mountain." She replied, "No, you are a snake, you will bite me." He told her that was silly because then he couldn't get up the mountain. So she picked him up and he bit her. She said, "How could you do this?" He said, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

Now, as an Evangelical Christian you dated an unsaved man for four years! You said, "I'll pray and it will be OK." But you knew when you did it that you were violating biblical instruction on being yoked to an unbeliever. Now you want to blame God. Not to be unkind, but _grow up!_ God actually was very, very kind to you. I constantly deal with Christian women who marry unsaved people thinking that _eventually_ God will answer their prayers. But God expects you to heed His loving admonition against such entangling and painful relationships. You knew better. You did. But you _wanted_ the guy. So now you are mad at God.

This is like someone who sees a sign that says "Do not put your head in the meat grinder and turn the power on." And then is angry when they are injured, rather than being grateful they were not killed.

I am praying thay you will use this experience not to turn your nose up at God, but to thank Him for warning you (even though you wouldn't listen). And I pray that being now sadder and wiser, you will read and believe the Bible in the future.

I do feel your pain, but this is pain of your own making. What will happen when a loved one dies of cancer even though you prayed for healing. How mad will you be at God then?

Think about it. Grow up--that is become mature.

Jim